Monday, 25 May 2009

is it weird that

i don't mind people i don't know reading my blog but i hate it when someone i know reads it?
cause they tease me about it haha :(
anyways, that was a rhetorical question

btw: if you haven't seen the hannah montanna movie i'd highly reccommened it.
it reduced me to tears. twice, haha...

only my biology exam left then im done with them!
:)

Wednesday, 20 May 2009

...

so if you know anything about scotland, you'll know that like, 0.001% of us actually meet the sterotyical scottish criteria, such as having orange hair, wearing a kilt, constantly drinking/drunk, etc.

the last example, however, catogorizes a type of people we call "NEDS": Non-Educated Dilinquients. it's hard to explain what they are really.. they are just a general annoyance. look them up if you want to know more
about them..
anyways, i was on bebo, and i found this boys bebo who use to go to be in my registrstion class at school but got expelled (he's a prime example of a ned; usually drunk/stoned, part of a gang (fleeto.. don't ask..) swears in every other sentence, need i go on?
anyways, his girlfriend is my age aswell, and she has a child..
a child whom she basically uses as a prop in her never ending photo albums.
she poses with the poor thing...
now, seeing this poor child being treated in this way really tugged on my heart strings, it's just a baby. to be blunt, it will have an awful upbringing, encouraged to binge drink and being laughed at and ridiculed if she does well at school, i'd assume...

call me old fashioned, but i believe that a baby is a symbol of love between 2 people, not the result of drunken sex...

it's such a shame because she is a truly is a beautiful baby...
i want to take her and just hold her close... i really feel for the poor thing...

Sunday, 17 May 2009

double blog ;)

so yeah, i got tagged to do this...

HOW DO YOU SEE THE WORLD?
(isnt that a killers song?)

anyways, i see the world as a ruthless place, where having vast amounts of money and material possesions will make you superficially content. a place that is in social and economical termoil, and it makes me wonder "how will the human race survive?"
i mean, obviously the world hasn't always been in economic harmony, and the current recession is the first time we have had to cut back on luxuries.
but it's the first time i've been effected (affected?) by this..

anyways, the world is always a very selfish place. you could be the nicest person ever, with a big, warm heart, but if you live on the streets, or have little money and little things, no one will care about you. it's all about $$$.

the world is also very unfair. i'm lucky that i've had a really.. unusual childhood (i was born in scotland, and we lived here until i was 4/5, then we moved to dallas, texas where i lived until i was 11 [i think] and then we moved back to scotland again).
where i lived in dallas was a toy town, to say the least. all the gardens were a brilliant shade of dark green, lawns were kept immaculate, houses were always clean and tidy, etc.
it was like a real life version of stepford wives, and it was as if all my neighbours were competing with each other in every aspect of their lives, eg, which home had a pool, who had the best christmas decerations, who had a bigger home, who had a better car, who earns the most money, etc. it was just ridiculious, but as i said before, if you made a large amount of money, had several luxury items, etc. then you were "liked". being a nice person just wasn't enough for those people..

anyways, yeah thats me..

so to recap:
the world is ruthless, selfish and unfair.

but the world can also be a wonderful place, if you have the right friends, and a good balance between becoming obsessed with your bank book, and being a lovely person.
some of the sights that can be seen on our planet are just amazing, to say the least..

okay, thats me now..

man

whenever i see a picture of planet earth, or i'm watching a programme to do with space, the universe, etc. i always get really upset...

when i was younger, i was completely self-absorbed, and self-centered, and believed that the world revolved around me, and without me there would be no purpose for anything. obvioulsy everyone was like that when they were a child, but being like that, and believing that everyone is looking out for you, everyone is your friend, everyone and everything is hear for your own purpose, it was reassuring and comforting. it made you feel wanted

now that i'm older, obviously i have discovered this is not the case. not at all.
with or without you, the world will continue to spin, and life will go on.
people will get over you, and the impact you made on their lives. (unless it was like, huge, and you were their only friend or family or something, but stop poking holes in my point...)

in the scale of it all, i'm tiny and insignificant. my existance isn't special, or unique

seeing that my parents won't be their to hold my hand in the big, wide world is really daunting, and it scares me, to be honest. i want to back to the days where everything as all about me, everything was dropped for me, all their time and effort was spent on me...

i'm coming off very arrogant and egotistical, but that's how i feel about this.
thats not how i am though, if you get me?

i'm in a bad mood....

EDIT: have you ever noticed that like, 99% of all pictures of the earth are taken with north america at the front and being the only continent showing? hmm...

Thursday, 14 May 2009

argh

had an awful day

firstly, i woke up really early, and went to bed really late, so i was totally exhausted during my french final..
did i mention i had a french final?
yes, i did. it was really hard...

secondly, one of my friends moaned at me and wants me to stop speaking to this boy that i've been talking to via IM and he's lovely.. so no, i won't be listening to you on that on

and thirdly, i picked up the wrong phone at the end of my exam and i had to hand in the other one..
but apparently my school called my house and said that it's been handed in, so thats good..

on the plus size, the weather has been nice today. not the clear skies i love, but it's quite warn, so that's good..
i'll be on twitter tonight ;)

Wednesday, 13 May 2009

i love days like this

when mother nature gives us clear skies, the sun splitting the trees, and a summery breeze




Tuesday, 12 May 2009

haha

hiya?
im coming back to you, i promise..

i've sat 4/8 of my finals: admin, english, chemistry and music
it feels great that i will never have to go to chemistry again and sit through another mind numbing class of my teacher struggling to hold our attention while we would all rather gorge our eyes out..
and music, don't even start me on how much ALL the music teachers are out to get me, serioulsy, i said one word to myself in the exam and the dumb tall one was all "ZOMG NO TALKING, YEW MITE BE CHEETIN! YEW MITE HAVE YUR PAPUR CANCELLED!"
whatever, her bark is much worse than her bark..

but it feels weird, because i'll be doing highers now...
haha i'm just very hormonal, etc. at the moment

exams left to sit are:

french, on the 14th
maths, on the 21st
modern studies, on the 25th which is a bank holiday here, unfair? i know...
biology, on the 28th

then study leave ends on june the 8th, and then i'm off to poland for about a week and a half with the school, it should be good

oh, i got a twitter, doesn't everyone now a days?
so much social networking, so little time...

www.twitter.com/wastingpaper

Saturday, 2 May 2009

i've not blogged in over 3 months

and i apologize for that, things have been very chaotic.
but i'm here now, right?

in scotland, we go to high school for 6 years, so that's like from 11 years old to 17 or 18 years old.
the first 2 years serve as an 'induction, if you will.
after that, you choose which subjects you want to continue doing, and you do them for 2 years.

i am at the end of my fourth year, all that is left are my end of year exams, which determine what classes i will be in for the next 2 years.

after sitting these looming exams (which are on all of may, might i add), we choose our higher classes. there is an overwhelming pressure to get into higher classes, as our grade in higher classes are the results which get sent to universities and colleges.

now, under normal circumstances i wouldn't be so bothered about sitting my 8 exams, but my school is joining with the other school in my town to form a "magnet" school.
to be fair, the new school looks good.
but i have concerns and anxieties which are deeper than superficial worries

for example, the majority of people at the other high school are very clever, so will most likely take up all higher class places, leavin pupils at my school to be disregarded and thrown aside.
also, i don't know many people at the other school, so perhaps, socially, it may be like my first year at high school again.

i am very aprehensive about the amalgamation.

i will miss my current school, even though it is in need of being knocked down.
it is a gross injustice how long my school has been left without a simple bit of paint.



yeah.. you've seen better, haven't you?

i will miss all my memories from the past 4 years, and i will be very upset to see my school being replaced by a fucking magnet school.
life blows.